2015年12月21日星期一
「信情樂章」夢裡出走
《夢裡出走》，是三個星期前凌晨的時候從夢裡驚醒而寫下的。第一次在夢裡那麼清晰的寫下的歌，驚醒後就只剩下“出走”兩個字和依稀的短短旋律。不甘心的爬起床來，在鋼琴前寫下了這段。
結果，那一天我在網上po了幾個月前錄下的《距離》，而這首歌一直沒錄好。這次是用相機S110錄的，我把那畫面去了。關於那錄音的噪音，就不好意思了～
2015年11月29日星期日
「信情樂章」距離
很多人都看了《我的少女時代》吧？我也花錢去看了。我的少女時代和戲裡很不一樣。於是，心裡就產生這一句：“每個男生心裡都有一位沈佳宜，然而不是每個女生可以是某個男生的沈佳宜。每個女生心中都有一位歐陽非凡，然而不是每個女生都會碰到徐太宇。”
《距離》這段詞，我寫下很久了，原本是沒有“我們迷失在霧裡“，是去年譜上曲的時候加的。那個時候，其實加的是”我們遺失在霧裡“。錄的時候，因為是照著原本寫在筆記簿裡唱的，所以唱的時候是照著原來的歌詞。剛才，是”默寫“歌詞，其實寫了幾遍，因為寫完後，憑記憶發現歌詞寫多了幾個字，我們的距離寫成我們之間的距離。接下來，發現把霧裡寫成風裡。最後，決定不再寫了，就將錯就錯吧，聽起來似乎可以混過去，就不再重寫了。呵～
這段詞，也算是屬於我的少女時代的心情吧？我的心靈一直處於少女時代。誰叫我不是沈佳宜，又沒碰上徐太宇？！：P
很奇怪，有個男生來我家的時候，對我說，從我家到你家，只需要3.8公里耶！我默默心動，以為終於有人問津了。那個時候，我已經出來工作幾年了。原來，只是自己一廂情願的感動了自己罷了。別人的隨便說說，而我卻上了心。不說這個了，還是說我更早之前的少女時代吧。
當然，我心裡也曾有過歐陽非凡。那個時候，我常用撲克牌算我們之間的距離。很搞笑的，我玩了幾年，竟然不是很記得怎麼玩了。這個是憑記憶及可能性的玩法寫的。各位少女們可以玩玩陶冶心情。
玩法很簡單。把牌子中的2到6抽出來，不用。把剩下的牌洗一洗。先給四張王牌介紹一下。黑桃心為男方心，紅心為女方心，黑桃王為男方，紅心後為女方。呃⋯⋯為了提高“可信率”就⋯⋯默想著對方，然後根據自己的年齡洗牌多少次。從上面開始翻牌，遇著四張王牌之一就停止，把王牌蓋回去。翻開了的牌子，放在一旁，不會再用。從牌子的下面開始丟牌，一直遇到四張王牌之一才停止。這是第一輪。再重複洗牌、丟牌兩次。剩下在手裡的牌子，就是算出來的距離了。心與心的距離，人與人的距離。看看之間是否夾著其他人或其他人的心。我覺得最完美的距離是，兩顆心在中間，沒有距離，然後兩個人在外面，中間不要隔著其他的心、其他的人就好了。畢竟，人與人之間，還是需要一些個人空間。
當然，這個遊戲可以耍心機，可以取巧的把距離縮短。玩牌子嘛，算一算，可以在洗牌的時候，把牌子送到該去的地方。這個不就叫做自欺欺人嘍。只是是，玩這個來計算距離，何嘗不是自欺欺人的遊戲？
2015年10月18日星期日
[信情樂章] 2014心情三部曲之三：Sound of Happiness
開心的時候，暢懷大笑。
傷心的時候，敢敢的大哭。
生氣的時候，亂發脾氣。
不喜歡的時候，就皺眉翻臉。
這首歌，就叫做“Sound of Happiness“。
朋友在臉書上問起，如果憂鬱呢？我如此回答她，憂鬱的時候嘛，就唱歌吧～
2015年10月15日星期四
[信情樂章] 2014心情三部曲之二：重播
當一切恢復平靜，漣漪不再的時候，生活變得有點沈悶。日復一日，什麼念頭都不再出現了。噢，不對，是不再有新的念頭了。
湧上心頭的，是一幕幕過去的重播。時而風平浪靜，時而小浪輕拍岸上而擦拭了痕跡，時而波濤洶湧的。
而我，就像是旁人、觀眾，笑看自己的人生。淺而易泛淚的眼睛，守不住淚水，任它泛濫成溪，是可喜或可泣，已經不重要了。就當作看場電影，主角不經傳，而不是很平凡。
這首歌，我練鋼琴，練了很多次。在副歌的部分，我的左右手無法和諧的彈奏。要嘛左手忘了要換chord，要嘛右手忘了下個鍵在哪裏。因此，這更積極的打消用鋼琴彈奏然後念獨白的念頭。這首曲，是去年三月寫的⋯⋯
湧上心頭的，是一幕幕過去的重播。時而風平浪靜，時而小浪輕拍岸上而擦拭了痕跡，時而波濤洶湧的。
而我，就像是旁人、觀眾，笑看自己的人生。淺而易泛淚的眼睛，守不住淚水，任它泛濫成溪，是可喜或可泣，已經不重要了。就當作看場電影，主角不經傳，而不是很平凡。
這首歌，我練鋼琴，練了很多次。在副歌的部分，我的左右手無法和諧的彈奏。要嘛左手忘了要換chord，要嘛右手忘了下個鍵在哪裏。因此，這更積極的打消用鋼琴彈奏然後念獨白的念頭。這首曲，是去年三月寫的⋯⋯
[信情樂章] 2014心情三部曲之一：我愛你
我愛你，那個“愛”字純屬形容詞，形容一種對你的感覺，而你無需太多慮。那也可以是一個虛詞，沒有什麼實在的意思。就像眾多的念頭，瞬間開始，瞬間結束，如此而已。
原本的計畫，是用鋼琴彈奏的，而且這段文字應該要錄成聲音的。於是，就一直拖延到2015年了。
三部曲的曲子，是分開進行的。最後成了2014心情三部曲是因為給它們寫下的文字關係。今年，其實沒寫什麼歌，除了網上課程的功課外。最近寫了四句詞，也鋪上了曲子，不過，覺得它可以成為以後寫的歌的序曲，於是就擱置在那裡。2015年要結束了，我想在2015年結束前，把2014年的“任務”完成。呵呵～
這首曲子，的確是用“我愛你”的心情寫的。寫完後，就想，如果整首歌用“我愛你”為歌詞的話，我會吐。於是，就不寫詞了。
原本的計畫，是用鋼琴彈奏的，而且這段文字應該要錄成聲音的。於是，就一直拖延到2015年了。
三部曲的曲子，是分開進行的。最後成了2014心情三部曲是因為給它們寫下的文字關係。今年，其實沒寫什麼歌，除了網上課程的功課外。最近寫了四句詞，也鋪上了曲子，不過，覺得它可以成為以後寫的歌的序曲，於是就擱置在那裡。2015年要結束了，我想在2015年結束前，把2014年的“任務”完成。呵呵～
這首曲子，的確是用“我愛你”的心情寫的。寫完後，就想，如果整首歌用“我愛你”為歌詞的話，我會吐。於是，就不寫詞了。
Come Unfriend
這個是屬於信子版本的。呵～
我在YouTube這樣寫。
因為，這首歌和我在網路看的一部小說有少許的相同的感觸與感想。有時候，一個故事，難於如何結束，哪裏是結束點。如果故事繼續，或會有另一個高峰（那可能是另一個故事），要不就成了雞肋。我想遠了。
朋友告訴我，那天，她們在車上一起聽了這首歌，覺得很莫明其妙，到底歌詞是什麼意思。當時，剛從緬甸回來，還剩下大概兩、三天就得交功課。那時候，有好幾個點子的，後來就只專注於"unfriend"這個點子。這個，不就是小時候，被朋友欺負後，“不要跟你好了”的意思嘍。也是臉書的那個"unfriend"鍵一樣。點了後，請在我的世界裡消失。
噢，對了，那部小說讓我想起這首歌是辛夷塢的《我在回憶裡等你》。
我在YouTube這樣寫。
有些故事很虐心，有些故事甚至以“蝕骨”來形容。而這首歌，是為 Coursera Modern Music Specialization 的Capstone Project 而寫的。
因為，這首歌和我在網路看的一部小說有少許的相同的感觸與感想。有時候，一個故事，難於如何結束，哪裏是結束點。如果故事繼續，或會有另一個高峰（那可能是另一個故事），要不就成了雞肋。我想遠了。
朋友告訴我，那天，她們在車上一起聽了這首歌，覺得很莫明其妙，到底歌詞是什麼意思。當時，剛從緬甸回來，還剩下大概兩、三天就得交功課。那時候，有好幾個點子的，後來就只專注於"unfriend"這個點子。這個，不就是小時候，被朋友欺負後，“不要跟你好了”的意思嘍。也是臉書的那個"unfriend"鍵一樣。點了後，請在我的世界裡消失。
噢，對了，那部小說讓我想起這首歌是辛夷塢的《我在回憶裡等你》。
2015年10月9日星期五
與你無關
這首歌其實寫了很久。緣起，是因為聽了蔡健雅的《與你無關》，林夕作詞。我照著原曲的格式，另寫了詞。
一開始的時候，是用原曲唱它的。後來，兩首詞的內容都讓我弄亂了。我也給新詞譜上曲了。
一直都沒把這首歌錄好。要麼，吉他彈得太差；要麼，歌唱得怪怪的。其實，前天整理了去年（大概應該都是去年創作的吧？）的歌曲，錄了六首吧？這是第一首。
我還在猶豫，要不要把這首歌列入《愛信情》系列。和我能構思的故事，好像有聯繫，又好像毫無關係。上個星期，把《愛信情》的故事和歌點來看，還是沒什麼頭緒。我該好好地準備故事主軸和路線的，可是這與我隨心所欲的感覺有所出入，因此⋯⋯暫時作罷吧。
說到卡帶，我有一陣子沒怎麼聽卡帶了。去年換的車子不支持卡帶播放。只有在家裡的收音機還可以播放卡帶。同事還給了我一袋卡帶呢。突然想，送卡帶，其實也挺浪漫的嘛。只是，這同事是因為捨不得丟卡帶，於是把它們託付給我。這樣，送卡帶變成了再循環，而不是浪漫情節了。多沒趣。
這首詞填完後，我想過再添增兩個段落，把秋和冬也寫下去。只不過，詞窮了，原因也想不到幾個，所以沒繼續。譜曲的時候，結尾刪了一句，所以和蔡健雅的《與你無關》的結尾，有顯著的異處。
一開始的時候，是用原曲唱它的。後來，兩首詞的內容都讓我弄亂了。我也給新詞譜上曲了。
一直都沒把這首歌錄好。要麼，吉他彈得太差；要麼，歌唱得怪怪的。其實，前天整理了去年（大概應該都是去年創作的吧？）的歌曲，錄了六首吧？這是第一首。
我還在猶豫，要不要把這首歌列入《愛信情》系列。和我能構思的故事，好像有聯繫，又好像毫無關係。上個星期，把《愛信情》的故事和歌點來看，還是沒什麼頭緒。我該好好地準備故事主軸和路線的，可是這與我隨心所欲的感覺有所出入，因此⋯⋯暫時作罷吧。
說到卡帶，我有一陣子沒怎麼聽卡帶了。去年換的車子不支持卡帶播放。只有在家裡的收音機還可以播放卡帶。同事還給了我一袋卡帶呢。突然想，送卡帶，其實也挺浪漫的嘛。只是，這同事是因為捨不得丟卡帶，於是把它們託付給我。這樣，送卡帶變成了再循環，而不是浪漫情節了。多沒趣。
這首詞填完後，我想過再添增兩個段落，把秋和冬也寫下去。只不過，詞窮了，原因也想不到幾個，所以沒繼續。譜曲的時候，結尾刪了一句，所以和蔡健雅的《與你無關》的結尾，有顯著的異處。
2015年5月7日星期四
Come unfriend
Finally, I completed Coursera-Berklee's Modern Musician's specialization courses in March this year! This used to be my ultimate goal of signing up Coursera last year, but now it's my first goal in Coursera. I am having the next capstone project to start next month started already for my next specialization courses. :)
I am not sure if I want to put this as lengthy as it could be or... But, it's my song writing journey... Anyway...
Milestone 1 : Create a New Original Song
Your song must have at least three sections and include a verse, chorus, and bridge or other form element. There must be at least two lyric verses.
EVALUATION CRITERIA
Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work.
- The written song is presented legibly with lyrics and chord symbols.
- The song includes at least three form elements, including verse, chorus, and bridge or other form element.
- Lyric phrasing creates prosody effectively.
- The chorus (or refrain) is simple, singable, and memorable.
- Lyrics are appropriate for all ages and family members.
- If the lyrics are in another language, an English translation is attached.
I was in Myanmar when the final capstone project starts, and had to rush to come out for a new song before the weekend ends after I came back home. I can still have Monday night, but I'll have to submit before 6:00 am next day in the office as I don't have Internet access at home, so... Anyway, I managed to come out with this draft, that fulfilling the requirement of the song. This is inspired by a Chinese song called 分手後不要做朋友. It's a sad song. I listen to that song repeatedly for weeks! And the 30th Corner Tea House was inspired by the 30th Corner Boutique Hotel that I last stayed in Myanmar. :D
Lyrics : https://s3.amazonaws.com/coursera-uploads/user-8187c17c0d46cfc2df2de477/974389/asst-3/21469d40b04711e4b9b3cfa5ab04ea6a.pdf
My own comment, I think the 4 chords before the bridge was redundant. I should have just go straight to the bridge after the 2nd chorus. The lyrics doesn't sound so right, but I just want to use the "unfriend" word.
My questions to peers :
1. What could I do to make from Chorus going to Bridge and going back to Chorus more interesting?
2. If my song message is not clear, how can I improve the lyrics?
Comment from peers :
peer 1 → 1. If you're planning to add more instrumentation to the song you can play with it to make the bridge more intimate and add contrast with the chorus 2. I think the message is clear, personally I wouldn't make major changes to the lyrics
peer 2 → 1. How about a chromatic ascent, also growing in intensity in the guitar and vocals? 2. While I really think you have a nice concept going on, I really believe that the words "Unfriend with me" do not translate well into English. You see, the word unfriend is only used in the context of social networks / or the internet. So it really feels out of place in your song. This also made it difficult for me to understand exactly what you wanted to say. Enunciate a bit more to make your lyrics more understandable!
peer 3 → 1. You could play a different note before heading to the bridge, maybe to measures of C3 and then go back. 2. You are telling a long story, it is not bad. Maybe, instead of Chorus 3, you could write something different like a verse to end the story so you don't repeat too much the Chorus.
peer 4 → ...finally a decent singer. keep up the good work
peer 5 → 1) I would get rid of the "C F G C" progression between the chorus and the bridge. it would be more interesting because it flows from the last word of the 2nd verse in the bridge "...my life...wish i never" 2) the message is a bit lost because i'm confused as to who you are speaking about. Whose name? why do you want that person to unfriend you? What "never happened" ? Try to explain a little more to the listener why you have those feelings
I got full score for this milestone. I am happy and speechless.
My friend's comment : something wrong with the lyrics... =D
Next.
Milestone 2 : Create a Detailed Production Plan
EVALUATION CRITERIA
Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work.
Tracklist Chart
- The tracklist chart includes at least four parts. For instance, a vocal, a chordal instrument, a bassline, and percussion.
- The type of track fits the source. For instance, an Audio track for the Vocal.
- The tools listed fit the type of track. For instance, a MIDI controller is the tool to record the part for a Virtual Instrument.
Toolset
- The toolset contains the make and model of you computer and the DAW you will use.
- If you are using external gear, the list contains the make and model of each piece.
- The toolset contains all the items you will need to record and edit your planned tracklist.
Timeline
- The order of steps is reasonable. For instance, recording the vocal or solo does not precede recording the chordal instrument.
This week's assignment was easy. I always wanted to do a song with piano/guitar with strings. So, here's my production plan : https://s3.amazonaws.com/coursera-uploads/user-8187c17c0d46cfc2df2de477/974389/asst-4/43397260b51011e4914731f5091173fa.pdf
The tempo of this song is 76. I intend to have minimal instrument at the beginning of the song, so it will start with guitar or piano at introduction. The drum will start only at the first chorus, and some string in the background to build up the emotional feel of the song. Actually I haven't decided if I want both or any of piano/guitar.
After receiving comments and suggestions from peers assessment, I decided to remove the interlude between chorus 2 and bridge, and also reduce the chorus 3 line 1 & 2.
My questions to peers :
1. How should I start this song? I am thinking of change the chord progression of the introduction, or start with singing directly.
2. How should I end this song? I can only think of it ends as the lead vocal ends.
Peers feedback :
peer 1 → [This area was left blank by the evaluator.]
peer 2 → 1. I honestly think that the beginning of your songs and your chord progression was really nice, though simple 2. I would like at the end some more interesting chords instead of stopping with vocals. Good work however.
peer 3 → 1. I think it sounds good. You can use "En el muelle de San Blass by Mana" as a reference, because it's a song with a constant rhythm, like yours. 2. I think it's good the ending.
peer 4 → You should do a better introduction considering the melody of the chorus.
The score was good too, I lost some points for "The type of track fits the source. For instance an Audio track for the Vocal."
Milestone 3 : Record, Edit, and Arrange Your Song, Including All Parts Then Post a 'Rough' Bounce
EVALUATION CRITERIA
Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work.
- Does the order of form elements work well for the song?
- Does the arrangement have enough textural and dynamic contrast?
- Do all the sounds fit together and work to enhance the atmosphere.
- Does the bass part guide our ears through the progression?
- Do the parts work together without conflicting with each other or with the vocal?
- If MIDI, do the parts sound natural and not over quantized or too mechanical?
- Does the Vocal performance have conviction?
I am really bad about this, that's why all my songs were normally (almost everyone of it) stop at something like milestone 1. If it doesn't sound like I stop at milestone 1, that must be because I was using my keyboard accompaniment to do it automatically.
This is my first time that I write song and go beyond 1st milestone. I am not so good at instruments. This version's piano and string are played on my Roland F120 piano. The rings at the last bar of my verse are from android apps called Congas & Bongos by Rodrigo Kolb Apps. I tried some drum beats to fit in the song, however, I can't find the one with the right feel, thus I give up that for now. All tracks are recorded using built-in mic of my MacBook, I did not use the Roland Tri-Capture USB audio interface (borrowed from Anna ^^) and Arturia Spark LE. I also drop the guitar as I think the piano is sufficient.
My questions to peers :
1. Any suggestion on the drum beat, I plan to have it started on the first chorus, however, I am not sure how to "get it in" there.
2. How can I improve the arrangement, the piano and string, or any suggestion on the backing tracks?
More feedback on other aspects are welcome, as I might miss the right question to ask. Thank you! :)
This round I added the 3rd line, as I started to worry more on the assignment.
Peers feedback :
peer 1 → 1) I would get in right before the first verse. Start with a Pat Boone Debby Boone drum fill. Skip to 2 minute of the following YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0XYbtb4-Ok. Then a simple rhythm like the following suggestion to start it out. You can probably keep this pattern going for all the verses so it doesn't get in the way of the vocals. Hopefully the following is readable. It's a bass drum on the 1, rim click on the 2, bass drum on the and after 2, bass drum on 3, rim click on the 4. 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and Bass click Bass Bass Click It should sound like: Boom-da-buh-boom-dah 2) Addition of a bass. Once drums and bass are in there, you'd have a full sound.
peer 2 → [This area was left blank by the evaluator.]
peer 3 → Hi there, I like your song and your voice. The quality of the audio is a bit poor though... I hope you will menage better for the final mix. For the drum beat I think probably the bes way would be a simple fill on the pause before the chorus (where the windchimes are). It could something as simple as a high hat going from open to closed... you know what I mean? However something simple. And the beat itself should be soft enough to keep your lovely voice in the forefront. Probably if you add drums it could be useful to add a simple bass line too. I hope this is useful. All the best :-)
peer 4 → 1. Actually, I'm not sure you need one. this sounds like a song where a nice bass line will help drive you forward. 2. A nice double bass, cello and piano could help this quite a bit.
peer 5 → 1. I'm not sure about the drum beats. 2. I would try using a different mic and midi instruments for better sound quality.
The score was amazingly still ok. I just lost points to "Do all the sounds fit together and work to enhance the atmosphere"! I actually didn't realize the vocal was really really bad. I blamed my recording equipment. Of course, that was part of the quality issue, but the truth is... (I never admit it until now) I turned on the compression effect on that track. It was part of some tuning experiment, and I can't "differentiate" with or without the effect! :-s
Anyway, here's the feedback from the staff in the forum at milestone 3.
Milestone 4 : Do a Final Mix.
EVALUATION CRITERIA
Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work.
- Levels are balanced well, you can hear all the parts clearly.
- There is a clear focus on the melodic element, in this case the vocal.
- Spacial placement via panorama and dimension (reverb) fits the aesthetics of the song.
- There is overall tonal balance, energy across the frequency spectrum, low middle and high.
- Processing promotes emotion, interest, clarity and presence with an atmosphere and feeling appropriate to the song.
- Dynamic range and overall level is appropriate to the genre and the song in particular.
- The song sounds great!
So, I wanted to redo the recording on my old MacBook. I think the 2009 MacBook built-in mic is better than the new MacBook Air. However, I can't find the right mood and even right tune that I have recorded previously. So, what I did was, re-record the vocal, using the mic that I got from Anna, and do some minor tuning on the tracks that I recorded in Milestone 3.
My questions to peers :
1. Would you feel like listen to this song over and over again?
2. If you would have to redo the production for this song, how would you do this?
Peers feedback :
peer 1 → You have a nice melody there! If there was a better production I would listen to it over and over, its relaxing and pretty. However, I would have gotten better gear and mics to produce it. The song feels unmixed , piano and voice are at the same level. I would have send the piano to the sides and the voice in the center. keep going! theres a lot of potential here.
peer 2 → 1 - The song is good, although not done justice by production quality (e.g. although your production plan says that the piano used a direct input, it sounds like it was poorly mic'd ... possibly consequence of reverb?) With more time/practice and possibly a more accomplished singer, this would be even better ... nice harmony + melody. Well done - looks like you've gained a lot from this course! 2 - liked the choice of instruments, form, arrangement, etc. ... just the production quality is not quite 'radio ready' + could have done with some low end content (no bass or percussion)
peer 3 → You need a whole stereo effect to this beautiful song. Use subtle delay and reverb effects.
peer 4 → 1) This song is beautiful! I think I would listen to it a lot. 2) Do you have a higher quality microphone for recording the piano part? The vocals sound good, but there's a lot of bass that's lacking in the piano that I would like to hear if I did the production. Otherwise, it's great!
peer 5 → 1. I think I would, but I highly recommend a better recording of all the instruments. It sounds really good tough. 2. FInd a place or someone that could help me with all the recording equipment and process.
peer 6 → 1. I won't butter you up. I honestly wouldn't. While your singing is for the most part on-key, the recording sounds very rough and distant, it's hard to make out what you're saying, and when you actually read the lyrics they're pretty much incoherent, I'm guessing due to translation problems. 2. I would re-record the vocals and piano separately, I would also try to translate the lyrics better.
Feedback from another staff for overall.
This round, I actually was being hit badly by the score. I score about 68% for this milestone. Anyway, I passed the capstone project! ^^
I was waiting for one more round of record, my own milestone 5, before posting this. I wanted to do with guitar and vocal only, just like most of my other song. I tried several attempts, and finally give up. If you want to listen to the "final" version that I have for this song, ask me to sing live for you (provided I am with a suitable guitar). :P
After completing this course, I've learned my weaknesses. And, I kinda decided that, I shall stop my song writing process at "Milestone 1", until I meet with the right partner for the song production. Might not write English lyrics for a long long time too. :D
I have a feeling that I might stop song writing for a long long time... (I mean posting my songs...) However, it's hard to tell what will come next after my long vacation this month! :)
I am not sure if I want to put this as lengthy as it could be or... But, it's my song writing journey... Anyway...
Milestone 1 : Create a New Original Song
Your song must have at least three sections and include a verse, chorus, and bridge or other form element. There must be at least two lyric verses.
EVALUATION CRITERIA
Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work.
- The written song is presented legibly with lyrics and chord symbols.
- The song includes at least three form elements, including verse, chorus, and bridge or other form element.
- Lyric phrasing creates prosody effectively.
- The chorus (or refrain) is simple, singable, and memorable.
- Lyrics are appropriate for all ages and family members.
- If the lyrics are in another language, an English translation is attached.
I was in Myanmar when the final capstone project starts, and had to rush to come out for a new song before the weekend ends after I came back home. I can still have Monday night, but I'll have to submit before 6:00 am next day in the office as I don't have Internet access at home, so... Anyway, I managed to come out with this draft, that fulfilling the requirement of the song. This is inspired by a Chinese song called 分手後不要做朋友. It's a sad song. I listen to that song repeatedly for weeks! And the 30th Corner Tea House was inspired by the 30th Corner Boutique Hotel that I last stayed in Myanmar. :D
Lyrics : https://s3.amazonaws.com/coursera-uploads/user-8187c17c0d46cfc2df2de477/974389/asst-3/21469d40b04711e4b9b3cfa5ab04ea6a.pdf
My own comment, I think the 4 chords before the bridge was redundant. I should have just go straight to the bridge after the 2nd chorus. The lyrics doesn't sound so right, but I just want to use the "unfriend" word.
My questions to peers :
1. What could I do to make from Chorus going to Bridge and going back to Chorus more interesting?
2. If my song message is not clear, how can I improve the lyrics?
Comment from peers :
peer 1 → 1. If you're planning to add more instrumentation to the song you can play with it to make the bridge more intimate and add contrast with the chorus 2. I think the message is clear, personally I wouldn't make major changes to the lyrics
peer 2 → 1. How about a chromatic ascent, also growing in intensity in the guitar and vocals? 2. While I really think you have a nice concept going on, I really believe that the words "Unfriend with me" do not translate well into English. You see, the word unfriend is only used in the context of social networks / or the internet. So it really feels out of place in your song. This also made it difficult for me to understand exactly what you wanted to say. Enunciate a bit more to make your lyrics more understandable!
peer 3 → 1. You could play a different note before heading to the bridge, maybe to measures of C3 and then go back. 2. You are telling a long story, it is not bad. Maybe, instead of Chorus 3, you could write something different like a verse to end the story so you don't repeat too much the Chorus.
peer 4 → ...finally a decent singer. keep up the good work
peer 5 → 1) I would get rid of the "C F G C" progression between the chorus and the bridge. it would be more interesting because it flows from the last word of the 2nd verse in the bridge "...my life...wish i never" 2) the message is a bit lost because i'm confused as to who you are speaking about. Whose name? why do you want that person to unfriend you? What "never happened" ? Try to explain a little more to the listener why you have those feelings
I got full score for this milestone. I am happy and speechless.
My friend's comment : something wrong with the lyrics... =D
Next.
Milestone 2 : Create a Detailed Production Plan
EVALUATION CRITERIA
Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work.
Tracklist Chart
- The tracklist chart includes at least four parts. For instance, a vocal, a chordal instrument, a bassline, and percussion.
- The type of track fits the source. For instance, an Audio track for the Vocal.
- The tools listed fit the type of track. For instance, a MIDI controller is the tool to record the part for a Virtual Instrument.
Toolset
- The toolset contains the make and model of you computer and the DAW you will use.
- If you are using external gear, the list contains the make and model of each piece.
- The toolset contains all the items you will need to record and edit your planned tracklist.
Timeline
- The order of steps is reasonable. For instance, recording the vocal or solo does not precede recording the chordal instrument.
This week's assignment was easy. I always wanted to do a song with piano/guitar with strings. So, here's my production plan : https://s3.amazonaws.com/coursera-uploads/user-8187c17c0d46cfc2df2de477/974389/asst-4/43397260b51011e4914731f5091173fa.pdf
The tempo of this song is 76. I intend to have minimal instrument at the beginning of the song, so it will start with guitar or piano at introduction. The drum will start only at the first chorus, and some string in the background to build up the emotional feel of the song. Actually I haven't decided if I want both or any of piano/guitar.
After receiving comments and suggestions from peers assessment, I decided to remove the interlude between chorus 2 and bridge, and also reduce the chorus 3 line 1 & 2.
My questions to peers :
1. How should I start this song? I am thinking of change the chord progression of the introduction, or start with singing directly.
2. How should I end this song? I can only think of it ends as the lead vocal ends.
Peers feedback :
peer 1 → [This area was left blank by the evaluator.]
peer 2 → 1. I honestly think that the beginning of your songs and your chord progression was really nice, though simple 2. I would like at the end some more interesting chords instead of stopping with vocals. Good work however.
peer 3 → 1. I think it sounds good. You can use "En el muelle de San Blass by Mana" as a reference, because it's a song with a constant rhythm, like yours. 2. I think it's good the ending.
peer 4 → You should do a better introduction considering the melody of the chorus.
The score was good too, I lost some points for "The type of track fits the source. For instance an Audio track for the Vocal."
Milestone 3 : Record, Edit, and Arrange Your Song, Including All Parts Then Post a 'Rough' Bounce
EVALUATION CRITERIA
Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work.
- Does the order of form elements work well for the song?
- Does the arrangement have enough textural and dynamic contrast?
- Do all the sounds fit together and work to enhance the atmosphere.
- Does the bass part guide our ears through the progression?
- Do the parts work together without conflicting with each other or with the vocal?
- If MIDI, do the parts sound natural and not over quantized or too mechanical?
- Does the Vocal performance have conviction?
I am really bad about this, that's why all my songs were normally (almost everyone of it) stop at something like milestone 1. If it doesn't sound like I stop at milestone 1, that must be because I was using my keyboard accompaniment to do it automatically.
This is my first time that I write song and go beyond 1st milestone. I am not so good at instruments. This version's piano and string are played on my Roland F120 piano. The rings at the last bar of my verse are from android apps called Congas & Bongos by Rodrigo Kolb Apps. I tried some drum beats to fit in the song, however, I can't find the one with the right feel, thus I give up that for now. All tracks are recorded using built-in mic of my MacBook, I did not use the Roland Tri-Capture USB audio interface (borrowed from Anna ^^) and Arturia Spark LE. I also drop the guitar as I think the piano is sufficient.
My questions to peers :
1. Any suggestion on the drum beat, I plan to have it started on the first chorus, however, I am not sure how to "get it in" there.
2. How can I improve the arrangement, the piano and string, or any suggestion on the backing tracks?
More feedback on other aspects are welcome, as I might miss the right question to ask. Thank you! :)
This round I added the 3rd line, as I started to worry more on the assignment.
Peers feedback :
peer 1 → 1) I would get in right before the first verse. Start with a Pat Boone Debby Boone drum fill. Skip to 2 minute of the following YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0XYbtb4-Ok. Then a simple rhythm like the following suggestion to start it out. You can probably keep this pattern going for all the verses so it doesn't get in the way of the vocals. Hopefully the following is readable. It's a bass drum on the 1, rim click on the 2, bass drum on the and after 2, bass drum on 3, rim click on the 4. 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and Bass click Bass Bass Click It should sound like: Boom-da-buh-boom-dah 2) Addition of a bass. Once drums and bass are in there, you'd have a full sound.
peer 2 → [This area was left blank by the evaluator.]
peer 3 → Hi there, I like your song and your voice. The quality of the audio is a bit poor though... I hope you will menage better for the final mix. For the drum beat I think probably the bes way would be a simple fill on the pause before the chorus (where the windchimes are). It could something as simple as a high hat going from open to closed... you know what I mean? However something simple. And the beat itself should be soft enough to keep your lovely voice in the forefront. Probably if you add drums it could be useful to add a simple bass line too. I hope this is useful. All the best :-)
peer 4 → 1. Actually, I'm not sure you need one. this sounds like a song where a nice bass line will help drive you forward. 2. A nice double bass, cello and piano could help this quite a bit.
peer 5 → 1. I'm not sure about the drum beats. 2. I would try using a different mic and midi instruments for better sound quality.
The score was amazingly still ok. I just lost points to "Do all the sounds fit together and work to enhance the atmosphere"! I actually didn't realize the vocal was really really bad. I blamed my recording equipment. Of course, that was part of the quality issue, but the truth is... (I never admit it until now) I turned on the compression effect on that track. It was part of some tuning experiment, and I can't "differentiate" with or without the effect! :-s
Anyway, here's the feedback from the staff in the forum at milestone 3.
Milestone 4 : Do a Final Mix.
EVALUATION CRITERIA
Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work.
- Levels are balanced well, you can hear all the parts clearly.
- There is a clear focus on the melodic element, in this case the vocal.
- Spacial placement via panorama and dimension (reverb) fits the aesthetics of the song.
- There is overall tonal balance, energy across the frequency spectrum, low middle and high.
- Processing promotes emotion, interest, clarity and presence with an atmosphere and feeling appropriate to the song.
- Dynamic range and overall level is appropriate to the genre and the song in particular.
- The song sounds great!
So, I wanted to redo the recording on my old MacBook. I think the 2009 MacBook built-in mic is better than the new MacBook Air. However, I can't find the right mood and even right tune that I have recorded previously. So, what I did was, re-record the vocal, using the mic that I got from Anna, and do some minor tuning on the tracks that I recorded in Milestone 3.
My questions to peers :
1. Would you feel like listen to this song over and over again?
2. If you would have to redo the production for this song, how would you do this?
Peers feedback :
peer 1 → You have a nice melody there! If there was a better production I would listen to it over and over, its relaxing and pretty. However, I would have gotten better gear and mics to produce it. The song feels unmixed , piano and voice are at the same level. I would have send the piano to the sides and the voice in the center. keep going! theres a lot of potential here.
peer 2 → 1 - The song is good, although not done justice by production quality (e.g. although your production plan says that the piano used a direct input, it sounds like it was poorly mic'd ... possibly consequence of reverb?) With more time/practice and possibly a more accomplished singer, this would be even better ... nice harmony + melody. Well done - looks like you've gained a lot from this course! 2 - liked the choice of instruments, form, arrangement, etc. ... just the production quality is not quite 'radio ready' + could have done with some low end content (no bass or percussion)
peer 3 → You need a whole stereo effect to this beautiful song. Use subtle delay and reverb effects.
peer 4 → 1) This song is beautiful! I think I would listen to it a lot. 2) Do you have a higher quality microphone for recording the piano part? The vocals sound good, but there's a lot of bass that's lacking in the piano that I would like to hear if I did the production. Otherwise, it's great!
peer 5 → 1. I think I would, but I highly recommend a better recording of all the instruments. It sounds really good tough. 2. FInd a place or someone that could help me with all the recording equipment and process.
peer 6 → 1. I won't butter you up. I honestly wouldn't. While your singing is for the most part on-key, the recording sounds very rough and distant, it's hard to make out what you're saying, and when you actually read the lyrics they're pretty much incoherent, I'm guessing due to translation problems. 2. I would re-record the vocals and piano separately, I would also try to translate the lyrics better.
Feedback from another staff for overall.
This round, I actually was being hit badly by the score. I score about 68% for this milestone. Anyway, I passed the capstone project! ^^
I was waiting for one more round of record, my own milestone 5, before posting this. I wanted to do with guitar and vocal only, just like most of my other song. I tried several attempts, and finally give up. If you want to listen to the "final" version that I have for this song, ask me to sing live for you (provided I am with a suitable guitar). :P
After completing this course, I've learned my weaknesses. And, I kinda decided that, I shall stop my song writing process at "Milestone 1", until I meet with the right partner for the song production. Might not write English lyrics for a long long time too. :D
I have a feeling that I might stop song writing for a long long time... (I mean posting my songs...) However, it's hard to tell what will come next after my long vacation this month! :)
2015年4月21日星期二
2015年2月28日星期六
終於寂寞
這首歌，從去年四月開始寫。就只有開端，而且melody最後也只用了那個時候寫的第一句。
那天，在累積的參加了幾次婚宴後，和朋友說了心事，說自己也想談戀愛了。或許跟那些婚姻沒關係，或許會是因為年紀不小了，或許是真的寂寞了。我還記得，當時和朋友說，可能這個“想戀愛”心情一個星期後會消失了。
然後，回到家後，就翻開了創作本，看到這首未完的歌，就花了幾個小時完成它。因為覺得它太短了，於是隔天加長了，成了現在最終版本。
其實，在趕著新的assignment。歌是寫好了，現在進入所謂的production階段。可是，每次寫歌，就是停在這樣vanilla的階段，就沒有下文了。於是，一直無法繼續。最後決定預期什麼都做不到，不如錄下這首歌發表。:P
要錄的時候，要給檔案給名字的時候，就愣了一下。這首歌該叫什麼呢？整首歌的中心點，沒有。想表達的東東，太多了。突然間，心裡就響起“現在以後，我終於寂寞，啦啦啦”。那“啦啦啦”是什麼啦？不管啦，就先放“feeling lonely“。
錄完後，要弄成影片了，怎麼辦？
現在以後，我終於寂寞，看到別人談情說愛，我盡量不回頭。
整段歌詞出來了。可是，我就在title的frame裡，輸入了“現在以後，終於寂寞”。上傳到YouTube時，就把歌名輸入為“終於寂寞”。
直到上傳後，還想不起整首歌，還有誰唱那首“現在以後”。一直到谷歌後，方記起童安格的歌。那首歌還真的是當年的經典歌曲之一。OK，主角不是那首歌，是這首“終於寂寞”。
那天，在累積的參加了幾次婚宴後，和朋友說了心事，說自己也想談戀愛了。或許跟那些婚姻沒關係，或許會是因為年紀不小了，或許是真的寂寞了。我還記得，當時和朋友說，可能這個“想戀愛”心情一個星期後會消失了。
然後，回到家後，就翻開了創作本，看到這首未完的歌，就花了幾個小時完成它。因為覺得它太短了，於是隔天加長了，成了現在最終版本。
其實，在趕著新的assignment。歌是寫好了，現在進入所謂的production階段。可是，每次寫歌，就是停在這樣vanilla的階段，就沒有下文了。於是，一直無法繼續。最後決定預期什麼都做不到，不如錄下這首歌發表。:P
要錄的時候，要給檔案給名字的時候，就愣了一下。這首歌該叫什麼呢？整首歌的中心點，沒有。想表達的東東，太多了。突然間，心裡就響起“現在以後，我終於寂寞，啦啦啦”。那“啦啦啦”是什麼啦？不管啦，就先放“feeling lonely“。
錄完後，要弄成影片了，怎麼辦？
現在以後，我終於寂寞，看到別人談情說愛，我盡量不回頭。
整段歌詞出來了。可是，我就在title的frame裡，輸入了“現在以後，終於寂寞”。上傳到YouTube時，就把歌名輸入為“終於寂寞”。
直到上傳後，還想不起整首歌，還有誰唱那首“現在以後”。一直到谷歌後，方記起童安格的歌。那首歌還真的是當年的經典歌曲之一。OK，主角不是那首歌，是這首“終於寂寞”。
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